Arrived earlier in Atlanta airport and managed to bag myself a 'Home Alone' moment, you know the one..when that annoying kid realises no one is home and he clutches his face and runs round screaming whilst the camera pans towards his miserable mug in quick spurts. That was me.
Thing is, when I got here I looked on the departures board (adviseable) and discovered to my actual horror that there is a place in Florida called Panama City. OMG. Glanced at my ticket and boarding card to find written 'Panama City' with no mention of country. Gulp.
Realistically it would only be a small thing - what with me being on the right side of the Atlantic and all - but I didn't want to go to the wrong place. The departures board wasn't acting in a helpful manner (ie my flight not listed) so I approached the Delta desk.
The queue was huge but being British I clung to the familiarity of a good old wait in line whilst the chunky chap at the desk did a lot of smiling and talking. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Eventually I reached the front.
'Hello' I garbled. 'I want to ask you a question but I am quite embarrassed because it sounds daft.'
Embracing his most professional demeanour Chunky Chap regarded me benevolently and said. 'There ain't nothing much I aint heard so y'all can just go ahead and ask, ma'm.'
Cute. He actually chose those words.
Me..'Erm, well, here's my ticket, could you tell me where I am flying to please?'
Judging by his reaction this question falls into the category of stuff 'I aint heard'. Looks at ticket. Maintains straight face. 'Panama City, Ma'm.'
Me...'and where is that?'
He...'In Panama, ma'm.'
Me...'Oh, phew! Thank you very much!'
So there, I was just panicing over nothing, am not as much of a numpty as I think I am (evidently). Anyway, just had a beer so am feeling in holiday mode. Its 4pm here, so I think that makes it 10-11pm at home. Next step Panama City, PANAMA.
* From my new book: Well-loved palindromes of the world...
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