Park and Ride...

Rode to the local park last Friday (23rd) am from friend Nic's house where I spent the night.
Met Mum and the other dog walking park ladies. I'll let you into a little secret...if you want to know anything about anything...go to the park.... FBI, M15, Betty Turpin, they know nothing compared to the park ladies. Wanna know who's given birth, having an affair, dead, alive, unemployed? Go to the park. Thing is, you won't get any info by asking, oh no. There is (seriously) no gossip here. No, you just have to hang around. Maybe drop in a name or two, intimate you know all about 'that funny business' and out it comes!

Top quote came from Ann.

Ann: You know Mary?
All: Mary?
Ann: Yes, Mary. She died.
All: Which Mary?
Ann: She goes to bingo.
Pause.
Ann: You know her, she's got white hair.

Hmmm.

Not as good as the Father. Park Ladies are acquainted with an (Irish, Catholic) Father. What a lovely man. Shame my mother can't get his name right, she calls him Father Duvet, when his name is Father Divan but when did the Catholic Church let a few letters get in the way?

Anyway, Father Duvet came over for a chat, I'd never met him before I was on my bike and got introduced as the daughter.
'Oh', says Father (imagine Southern Irish accent) 'and ders you, with a nice fancy bike, all smart and shiny.'
I smiled and bored him with some shiny bike details.
Father: 'Knew a man once, he went off for a cycle, hadn't gone ten miles up the road there when he had a heart attack, he died, straight off. ....Where've you been today?'
Explained that I had just come from my friends, where I had spent a lovely social evening.
Father: I knew a man once, invited his friends over for the night. Said good night to them, shut the door, had an aneurism, was dead in two minutes flat. Aorta blew up like a balloon. Burst. Dead. How's that dog?'
Mother explains dog is well, thank you.
Father: 'Knew a dog one time in Mayo. Lovely dog, very friendly. When I saw him I'd always put my hand out, give him a stroke. Like this though, you know.' (indicates moving hand carefully with closed fist and back of hand towards dog's mouth). 'Man came up to him one day. Holds his hand out, but not careful like and what does the dog do? He bites him! Poor ole fella, they had him put down.'

Apart from that my week was spent catching up with friends, chilling out, doing stuff.